In my new wave, I’m promoting stuff on social media. And I know myself, and know I have to be careful. I know from the regular social media breaks I have taken that what currently works best for me is to schedule social media usage times. I wouldn’t have known that had I not walked away, multiple times, and taken a breather.
Two instances within the past year actually forced me to not use my phone.
Instance 1, which I wrote about here.
Instance 2, whereas we had just come off of the repercussions of the big Webberville/Williamston l tornado touch down whereas internet access was touchy and social media use fell low on the totem pole.
I grew busy with other tasks such as purchasing our first generator, moving perishable food around, and other clutter to assure we could get around in dim lighting for a few days. (Read about how we don’t have enough problems, like this, so we basically have too much time to be online and to create problems that shouldn’t even be problems, here).
Then, of course I’ve purposely and actively taken social media breaks.
After every break, planned or not, I am majorly surprised at how much it changes my perceptions.
Here’s how.
Taking away Something May Be Better than Adding Something to Fix it
I remember in my twenties getting a diagnosis of generalized anxiety. The doctor prescribed some popular anti-anxiety medication, but I decided instead of adding a drug I’d try removing one first.
I switched to decaf coffee for a little while and eased back to an amount that didn’t compound with the stressors in my life. It was a powerful self-experiment that I find easy to apply to a lot of things in my life, especially social media usage.
I don’t need to read the research to know that social media is an attributor of anxiety, because almost as if it is a drug, I can feel differences in how I feel based on how and how I use it.
Every break helps me find value in a new app, or disregard another one.
If your feed is something you are on everyday then it should change with you and reflect what habits or virtues or passions you are focusing on today, not yesterday, or a year ago.
My last break helped me find a useful way to use Instagram. This time around I realized I want to use Snapchat and texting. That may change in the future.
I never would’ve known the value I find in communicating via Snapchat and text. I never would’ve pinpointed just how I want to share on Instagram (sharing who I am via storeis in the hopes it will increase interest in my articles).
I wouldn’t have known to whittle down Facebook to the following of two pages.
I apply it to my kids tech usage as well. I think about the best things about my childhood and how certain parts of my childhood would’ve been great with the use of technology. For example, my friend and I made dozens of videos pretending we were newscasters. We loved making music videos too. I was obsessed with taking and sharing pictures. I can analyze with my kids the apps or devices that are appropriate for their age, creative ventures, and time.
You realize, then alter, some of the ridiculous ways you were spending your time.
Social media is a time suck for obvious reasons. The rabbit hole it purposefully pulls you down.
But there are less obvious ways I’ve observed it stealing my time besides taking you down the black hole of scrolling.
There’s a time aspect to posting. I remember being on vacation and thinking, how can i possibly have time to post on Snapchat and Instagram? Living normal life, and automatically feeling like you have to share it. Think, stopping our kids when they’re being cute, to share it. There’s the time it takes to pick the best pictures from the trip and post those. Then there’s the time aspect of of the post-post, the checking of who “liked” it. That takes time. Finally, there’s the dark side of scrolling that can steal our time – ruminating on what was seen and how it compares to our own life, and maybe even a change in what I was doing to perhaps do something someone else was doing.
Breaks help me to recalibrate efficiency.
Helps reestablish the purpose you are on there and just sticking to actions that go with that.
I personally hate this feeling that mom’s are responsible for posting family photos. Maybe I’m making that up, but I see many more dads not even thinking twice about sharing photos, and many family members mentioning to moms that they love seeing pictures of the kids.
I fight that urge a lot to feel that is my responsibility. I’ve come to an agreement with myself that I will share photos with family, but not after every sport game, trip, or cute thing they do. I’ll do it when I think of it on “stories” and a collective annual post at some point when I’m sitting at the lake in the summer.
Breaks help me consciously decide to use social media for that, and to promote this and our gym. The actions that help me not go completely insane while promoting are still a work in progress. But I never would’ve come up with the idea to engage one day a week, post at a certain time every time, and schedule out posts without a break first.
Social media breaks help you go back with more purpose, boundaries and perimeters.
Following each hiatus, before I blindly return to the old habits I ask myself new questions.
Before I thought more content, more content, more content. But I wonder, is more content better? For who? For what? For the possibility of money? The chance to sell products that I most likely won’t even believe in? For clout?
And why Snapchat? Not doing it made me feel left out. Getting back into it felt overwhelming.
You’re reminded of the importance of alone time.
Be a loner.
Einstein
This quote validates all my breaks from social media.
When I take breaks from certain social media platforms the universe basically dishes creativity out to me on a silver platter.
Other things fill my time, like reading. And no self-improvement book today is without constant reminders of the detriment of mindless scrolling and mis-use of technology.
You can more clearly identify reality.
My brother also brought something up along the same lines revealing a discontent with his relationship and following it up with the statement, I just don’t have what others have who post “I’m married to my best friend.”
I’m reminded that real life doesn’t create nearly as many false stories in my head as social media.
Social media sparks fear, comparison, and stories in our minds.
Did you know that social media sparks social comparison? Of course you did. Everyone knows that. Sometimes we just flat out need a break from that.
I love the people in my life. But my latest social media break taught me that I love them better in the non-digital world where my judgement is not clouded.
But, just a warning, act with caution when you come back in from the break.
When I was under the trance of checking the socials every time I picked up my phone, it didn’t feel like much. Now, I feel a pit in my stomach just looking at them – the break making me realize how much I feared what was lurking on the other side of that icon.
Was it going to bring some cryptic news story? A new activity I just HAD to sign the family up for? Was it going to reveal something that someone else had that I forgot I was lacking in my own life?
I warn you because when coming back from a break you need to prepare yourself.
After setting my accounts up to unfollow, I became used to having the ball in my court. This important strategy coming after one of my earlier social media breaks. I learned that I could use social media if the accounts were set up this way because if I did fall back into old habits than at least I’m not seeing everyone’s life highlights at all hours of the day – I’m just seeing them when I choose to click on their page.
However, when getting back to the Instagram app I inadvertently clicked on an old Instagram account that I had not done the unfollowing for.
In a matter of seconds I was thrown a feed of best shots of everyone’s vacations and daily lives. And it was an accident I couldn’t look away from. After 20 minutes of scrolling I peeled myself away and felt like a true victim of doom scrolling. I couldn’t turn away and in a matter of 15 minutes I felt overwhelmed with confusion that I vowed to never do it again.
It all reminded me that social media is here to stay. People will always post, many will love it, and i will always like it a little.