Every time another warning about social media use comes out I get a new energy to express my thoughts on it.
My initial reaction to the New York Times article: “Surgeon General Warns That Social Media May Harm Children and Adolescents” is that we turn ourselves and young people to online life simply because it is the easiest route.
Unless we each make small changes to assure the majority of our connection is in real life, we will continue to add to: “a public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and the lack of connection in our country” (Dr. Murphy, Surgeon General).
These words fuel feelings of confusion and frustration.
The fact that the top health official of the United States has to state these things is beside me:
- Recommendation that “families keep mealtimes and in-person gatherings free of devices to help build social bonds and promote conversation.”
- Statement that adolescents “are not just smaller adults. They’re in a different phase of development, and they’re in a critical phase of brain development.”
My emotions run rampant.
I feel guilt for judging others because I can’t imagine a household that allows smartphones at the dinner table. And I can’t believe we live in a world where parents have to be told that social bonding and connection is important.
I feel a familiar sense of frustration as both an educator and a parent.
I personally don’t need a warning from the Surgeon General because I see these repercussions everyday in my job as a special education student evaluator at the elementary and high school levels. I observe everyday how the feeling of frustration educators feel today goes no where because we are not yet at the stage where we are “allowed” to recommend they put the screens at home away or in the classroom without causing offense.
I’m stuck on how to disallow screentime in social situations. How can I not allow it when their cousins and friends are online during downtime? What can I counteroffer them? Ice cream? Money? How can I not throw my phone at them when it is now expected that children are quiet when parents are tending to other tasks – standing in line, eating at a restaurant, etc.
The fact that the health department put statements out there does give a glimmer of hope.
The more we talk about it, the closer we will get to a place where the positives outweigh the negatives.
Along with the negative impacts, the articles states the positive impact that “social media can help many young people by giving them a forum to connect with others, find community and express themselves.”
We as humans need connection. We fear being left out, and we fear our children being left out.
The challenge is that we have to ignore what other people are doing. We have to put in the work, for ourselves, and for the young people we are responsible for, to decide what actions will allow only the positives of technology to come through.
As long as the trend is, say, turn 10 and be given a smartphone, and to have a smartphone in our possession at all times, we will continue to make decisions to keep it that way.
Parents today spend hundreds of dollars on a smartphone for their child, when there are plenty of non-smartphone options. Why is this happening? Because we strive for connection for ourselves and for them.
Despite warnings that: “As social media use has risen, so have self-reports and clinical diagnoses among adolescents of anxiety and depression, along with emergency room visits for self-harm and suicidal ideation” societal pressure to fit in is just too great.
Any fear that their child may develop emotional or mental health issues is subsided because it is just easier to take the chance and allow them to “be like others.”
Me, a grown adult, feels pressure to be on social media, to assure I am in the in-crowd, not forgotten. How does an adolescent even have a chance?
If social media was around in my youth, I surely would’ve joined the troves of teens struggling with debilitating anxiety and depression that I see at the high school every single day.
Push from public figures that “parents closely monitor teens’ usage and that tech companies reconsider features like endless scrolling and the “like” button” may help.
But modeling good use has a major impact as well.
Communicating in person, assigning time to utilize useful apps, relaxing without a screen, being bored in class, at home, on vacation, going places without documenting it online, has to start trending.
“Dumb” phones for young people that simply allow communication and appease the fear of sending them out to the park or practice, seems like a healthy trend we can work towards.
Showing that we care more about being present in good times verses documenting them, allowing bad times verses trying to escape them, and ignoring the voice that tells us the world needs to see what I’m doing right now.
So where are my trendsetters? Let’s go!