Losing my smartphone for almost a week made me realize how much this little device ruled my world.
After the expected day of stressed, freak-out mode, I immediately started reaping the benefit of this “loss.”
A pursuer of digital minimalism, I knew the universe was giving me that last push I needed.
First, the back story.
Days after posting a sarcastic poem of my love-hate relationship with my phone, it seemed to take revenge.
On the Friday night of a busy gym event I frantically stashed my Iphone in my sweatpants as I got myself, the kids, and the house ready. The first hint from the universe came through in a thought. I’m afraid of losing my phone so I’m keeping it in this tiny sweatpants pocket.
I packed up the car, the babysitter arrived, and I left. The car Bluetooth connection was intact and then not, so I left knowing the phone was at home.
Fast forward to midnight and 10 inches of snow, I shoveled the driveway, searched the house, gave up and went to bed.
The next 5 days were spent searching through piles of snow and every room in the house.
I refused to buy a new one. It helped when Monday arrived and I remembered the Ipad I had stashed away, giving me access to texting and some apps.
By day 6, I felt changed. I bought a new phone. But I gave myself a rule – I wasn’t allowed to activate it until I typed up what I’d learned.
This is when I felt that the universe was on my side.
I typed up my lesson learned. Activated the new phone. Found my phone two minutes later. (In one of two snow piles I had yet to get to).
I thank the universe for the laugh and for these lessons.
1. My fixation on my phone was getting out of control.
I fixated on my phone when it was lost as much as I did when I had it.
This was the first, and most alarming thing I learned about my phone usage. For the first 2 days especially, my kids watched me relentlessly clean out every square inch of the house – garage to basement – muttering how I couldn’t believe I had lost my phone. I went as far as kicking every piece of snow around in our yard.
Every time they walked by me this week they asked “have you found your phone yet mom?” I probably uttered the word cell phone 200 times that first 48 hours. They definitely left the weekend feeling like mom’s cell phone really means a lot to her.
I sulked in that realization then decided, while I wouldn’t halt my search and rescue mission, I would make it less obvious and give it much less attention.
I am grateful for the reminder not to fixate on my phone when with my loved ones. They deserve better.
2. I thrive when I don’t have social media at my fingertips.
Losing my smartphone helped me decipher between what I valued for connection purposes (texting, and Snapchat). And what I liked using for information and communication (checking events, invites, and pages on Facebook; reading and sharing bursts of info and videos on Instagram).
It also reinforced which apps were best to have on my phone verses those I should just access on my laptop as needed.
3. I don’t have a phone addiction, but was getting close.
Smartphone addiction is not an actual disorder yet. But I found “6 behavioral criteria that had the highest diagnostic accuracy for the diagnosis of smartphone addiction from Lin, et al 22” which can be found here: psychiatryadvisor.com.
The criteria that stuck out to me personally was “heightened attention to using or quitting smartphone use” because I know that I could not have just given my phone away purposefully for 6 days.
Looking back I can’t believe I ever brought it to mass, took it out at a restaurant, or stared at it when talking to my sons.
In addition, they identified 4 functional criteria, with “use in a physically hazardous situations (such as while driving or crossing the street) or situations that have other negative impacts on daily life” super alarming to me.
I found that when I was driving around those couple of days without a phone I felt bored. My normal behavior being to turn to my phone during red lights, or bad songs.
I often tell my kids “I can’t do anything else. The thing I’m doing is driving” when they ask me to do things while driving. I realized that I may not always practice what I preach when I am driving alone.
4. My life is too hectic.
Slow down everyone
Jack Johnson
You’re moving too fast
Frames can’t catch you when
You’re moving like that
I am 0% surprised that I lost my phone on a Friday with all that I had to get done in order to get out the door. I need to take some things off my plate.
5. I have been letting my brain turn to mush.
When I drove places I’d been to a dozen times, I got incredibly lost. I barely knew how to read a paper map. (Impressively we did have one though!)
I didn’t know what to do with my time when I didn’t have a phone to tinker with.
I forgot how to use my imagination on the road or to fall asleep. Reading was too slow, even full length movies felt too long – in comparison to short bursts of reels.
There have got to be major repercussions coming from the short attention spans being created today.
6. I want to optimize communicating with those I love.
At first the world just stopped. I instantly felt isolated.
I also felt stressed about all those that would be trying to get ahold of me.
Once I had re-activated my ipad and was able to text message I felt better and gained clarity.
Many of the conversations I worried about missing would happen one way or another. That’s because those who really needed to talk to me would find me. And if they didn’t, it wasn’t important.
Did I need to be checking work and personal email every 5 minutes? No.
It felt good to talk to my kids or my husband, without simultaneously looking down at my phone.
7. I need to not put all my eggs in one basket.
I instantly worried about losing the thousands of Inotes I have on my smartphone.
The irony is that so many of them get stuck in the world of Inotes never to be shared with anyone, and only to be at risk of being lost. Losing my phone jumpstarted me out of writers block, reintroduced me to writing on paper, and reminded me to think less and share more.
8. My phone (and home) was more cluttered than I thought.
Seeing the old apps on the Ipad that I haven’t used since 2021 made me think about how I tend to just keep all the apps I’ve ever installed. Really these should come and go as I change.
It gave clarity into what apps add value to my life, and made deleting those that don’t, easier to delete.
Along the same lines, when I turned the house upside down for a week I learned all the hidden spots clutter was hanging out.
9. Keeping a smartphone lying around makes being present almost impossible.
Overall, I loved being without it.
When its near me the compulsion to check it is so robotic its comical.
A message is rarely an emergency, and usually someone else’s agenda to fulfill.
Notifications usually require me to stop what I’m doing and take action.
Without all the pings a weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t have to risk losing my attention, calmness, or focus.
I enjoyed the forced peacefulness so much that I dreaded going back.
Though I’ll keep a smartphone around I know that it serves me well to give it a home for most of the day.
10. Self-experimentation with the digital world is important and never a closed case.
I was unsure how I truly felt about the ability to simply give up certain technologies.
Hearing messages that “technology is bad” just made me want to give it up entirely.
But this forced experiment made me trust that it can be a tool instead of a hindrance if I continue to pay attention to the signs.
I highly recommend you force yourself to try this as well!