Social media making you feel bad? We’re also of course in a pandemic. In these “Covid-times” I’m consciously overindulging on each holiday’s decorations – a response to not being able to celebrate them in a “normal” way. Our Christmas lights are still up, illuminating the winter’s darkness. They blend right in with the Valentine’s decor that went up immediately following the removal of the Christmas tree.
But I’m Not Following… the Obligatory ‘I Love You’ Post
Yes, I fully intend to celebrate each holiday on steroids. But not online.
First, let me be clear. This is a no judgement zone. Social media provides a virtual version for spreading love and joy. I applaud those who post and like and sincerely enjoy it. I also recognize there are people who feel less lonely when they interact online during sensitive holidays like Valentine’s Day.
For us others, I command a comeback to those, now somewhat vintage ways, of showing love that seem to have been left to the wayside. A way of interacting with oneself and others to make us feel more connected in a time when posts online that are intentioned to connect us may actually be doing the opposite. Maybe as an alternative to posting about love, a little bit of “me time” along with doing something for others, is all we need to feel the love during the Valentine’s season.
Reduce
I’m looking to inspire a minimalistic approach on the social media front. If social media is making you feel unhappy I recommend the same approach. Minimalism doesn’t really mean less. It actually means more – more intentionality with what we focus our energy on. Reducing my screen time was a very intentional decision that led to my next item of business – being very choosey with how I spend my time. This isn’t just for my sake but for the sake of those around me.
My efforts to reduce my online time are as much for me as they are for my family. When I was “all in” in the virtual world it left little time to become fully engaged in other “real world” activities. It also showed those I loved that being online was important to me.
Recluse
Don’t you love how the universe sometimes throws out what you’re itching for? Moving in across from a true artist years ago was one of those things for me.
The best part about this artist in my life isn’t that she once gifted us with a 2 1/2 x 4 ft. portrait…of us. It’s not that she taught me how to paint. And it’s not that she begs us to watch our cats when we go on trips. It’s that I get to observe a person who reaps the benefits of alone time. She produces beautiful things after spending hours on end madly enthralled in her hobby.
Now, I know better than to compare myself. I’ve learned that doing that online is part of the reason social media makes me feel bad. So I know not to do it in real life. My neighbor and I – we lead different lives. A woman in her 70s, she grew up in a different time. Her kids are grown. Nonetheless, she inspires me.
Hobbies vs. Obligations
I needed some confirmation that it was okay to take some “me time.” In that same universe-throwing-things-out-to-me way, my friend Molly recently texted me something along the lines of the importance of engaging in hobbies. She told me about something called “Unicorn Time” that she’s trying out from a book called Fair Game by Eve Rodsky. She described this “Unicorn Time” first as to what its NOT:
“They say its NOT: social media, drinks with friends, mani/peti, TV, reading, or attending a workout class.” But she said “you need a hobby or interest outside of being a mom or employee – sewing, skiing, interior decorating, music, etc.).”
If you know me you’ll think I’m crazy trying to add more hobbies. Sure I have the band and my CrossFit classes. But they still mimic obligations that may be inadvertently teaching my kids that we need to always be go, go, go. It misses the point. Instead, I want to be, and I want them to see me, fully enamored with a hobby (writing in a journal, drawing, singing, dancing, etc.). In thinking about it, my passion for singing is much more served with a sing-a-long in the car verses a stressful show. And CrossFit is fun and I love it, but it’s more my lifeline than a hobby.
How Do Busy People Find the Time?
For me it means less thinking about set-up, and more about jumping right in when inspired. It means keeping my journal on the cluttered counter to be readily available for jotting down thoughts. It’s being okay with working in a non-Pinterest-Instagram-worthy setting. Sometimes it’s getting only 10 minutes in but leaving the mess sitting around until you get back to it. It’s throwing on classical music to awaken how it used to inspire me in my high school art class.
Finally, it’s allowing the kids (who in “Covid-times” serve as my extra appendages) to join me but allowing them to walk away to entertain themselves so I can keep at it. Most importantly, it’s committing to doing something – anything – other than scrolling and proving to ourselves and others that doing things offline is an actual pastime. It’s showing our loved ones that if something like social media makes you feel bad, there are many alternatives.
Upcycle
Years ago, this aforementioned wise artist neighbor introduced me to a Valentine’s card marking activity – something I didn’t think happened after the 5th grade. I found it quite therapeutic. If you crave that alone time away from someone (kids, significant other), or something (work, stress), and you want to jumpstart that alone time, here’s one good-for-the-environment, offline sharing craft that will help bring you back to the good ole days.
Cardmaking from Scraps
- Buy blank cards. I used these from Amazon this year. They’re cheap and multi-purpose.
- Gather old scraps of anything that has patterns that you enjoy. Think magazines, junk mail, wrapping/construction/scrapbook paper or my personal favorite old greeting cards or announcements cards (that are simply beautiful these days). I’ve been collecting them for years.
- Cut out some hearts and any shapes you want to add.
- Craft up your own words or find puns online like I did this year. Cut out or write out the words.
- Decorate the empty cards using glue sticks to stick it all together and sharpies to outline images.
- Mail them to the special people in your life. (Expert tip: They can get kind of thick so I find it’s best to send them from the Post Office to ensure they have enough postage!)
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