6 Things I’m Copying From Their Joyful Living
When it comes to a park visit with my boys, I’m almost always roped into a game of tag. I wish I could share their innate love of the game. Even a recent snowy, spring day didn’t keep them from sporting smiles from ear to ear. It makes me crave that spirit of pure joy. I know I had it once.
Observing them motivated me to ponder the details that make us view moments differently. It made me realize I could learn from them. I want to feel what they feel about playing tag – about anything. Here’s how I think I can regain that youthful nature of pure joy.
Mimicking Pure Joy Like a Child
1. Take “Think Breaks“
I have an incredibly terrible memory. I’m convinced it’s because for most of my life I’ve been observing and over-thinking and only half attending to what was in front of me. Sure it’s served me well in some ways, but for the sake of getting back to that joyful nature, it could serve me well to limit my thinking.
When my kids are playing tag, they’re just playing tag. They’re not thinking about what to make for dinner, details of town gossip, or what Carrie posted on Facebook.
Since my thoughts are pretty aggressive, I use these counterattack methods to keep them under control.
Imagine a large stop sign whenever a thought interrupts my moment.
To work towards pure joy, I need this abrupt reminder to halt the thoughts.
Picture a Serene Image
I learned this strategy in a mindfulness training. I imagine a pond on a windy day. When thoughts come in I imagine the wind carrying them into the pond and I tell them “I’ll get right back to you.” This has helped me to be joyful because I’m focusing less on thoughts.
Keep a Notebook Handy
I use a small notebook, or my smartphone’s “notes” app to jot down thoughts I’m worried about forgetting. Otherwise I’m constantly repeating them in my head and not able to focus on anything else.
2. Do Things That Are Challenging
When we’re in a challenging situation we have no choice but to focus on the task at hand. I imagine that for young children almost everything is a challenge. They’re developing their motor skills, learning how to function in ever-growing bodies, and pushing their brains to the limit. When we are doing things that push our limits we can’t help but be focused on the goal at hand. Sometimes the completion of these tasks is what leads us to that pure joy.
I think that’s one reason CrossFit workouts are so appealing to me. I am forced to focus 100% of my attention on the goal of finishing the workout. When my focus is on the task it allows me that “think break” and mimics what meditation does for our brain.
3. Look at Things Like They are Brand New
There are probably things I’ve seen my whole life but never really looked at.
This world is but a canvas to our imagination.
Henry David Thoreau
My children’s natural curiosity has reignited my love of things I thought I’d never appreciate again. Somewhere between term papers and identity formation in my pre-teens and college years I forgot about my love of rain storms and building forts in the winter.
I don’t remember ever loving winter as much as I do now. If I continue to let myself see the world through the eyes of a child, who knows how much more pure joy I’ll re-discover.
4. Schedule in “Play Time”
Recess built into a school day is essentially a “think break.” It’s a chance to focus only on playing. If we’re not intentional, we can waste all of our moments simply working or doing the things that are “good for us.” Taking the time to indulge in hobbies is like scheduling that recess for ourselves.
5. For Pure Joy’s Sake, Demand Uninterrupted Time with Loved Ones
I’m somewhat envious of young children who haven’t experienced the consuming world of smartphones. It’s common practice to have our phones on us and remove ourselves from moments to tend to notifications. Awkward silences that were once filled with nothing are now filled with heads turned to the screen.
My kids love tag, especially with us parents, because we can’t do anything else but run towards or away from them. They have called me out when I pick up my phone and I love them for that.
Looking others in the eye, engaging in shared silence, and observing the world around us don’t have to be lost past times.
6. If All Else Fails, Close My Eyes and Channel My Inner Child
I have such fond memories of playing soccer as a child. I close my eyes and I’m back to running up the left side of the field on a break away toward the goal – my parents on the sideline cheering me on. Sometimes just that simple act of closing our eyes can jumpstart our imagination and give us just that ounce of pure joy.