When the trifecta of Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas started creeping in this year, I found myself guided by the thought, can I buy less than I did last year?
It’s because each year a feeling of dread overshadows the feeling of joy that is supposed to ensue.
It starts with my spouse spending Sundays throwing old toys in the trash bin. Then its me rushing around town assuring we have decorations along with dozens of gifts for various loved ones. It ends with boxes upon boxes of items to donate or trash months later during Spring cleaning.
With each year there seems a new socially instilled tradition – the sending of holiday cards, matching family pajamas, Elf on the Shelf, cookie decorating, all done with perfection to project the perfect image, either to the kids, or our social media accounts.
Although these traditions have joyful intentions, I had to stop and think about what parts really brought joy to me and my family, and which ones I wanted to be instilled as memories for my kids. Once I figured out which traditions to keep, I moved on to focusing on buying less in order to gain more.
Here’s what’s on the forefront of my mind this month in the hopes that it transfers to my home this year and in years to come.
1. Memories Not Tied To Amount of Presents
Once my first born was old enough to know that there was something valuable inside the colorful wrapped boxes under the tree, I couldn’t wait to give him the Christmas childhood memories I had.
I had a wonderful childhood, and have especially wonderful Christmas memories.
At first, trying to mimic it for my own kids made me think I should assure there are no less than 10 presents under the tree for each child.
Of course my kids will receive gifts from me and Santa. But not without keeping in mind that the accumulation of gifts was actually a very small part of my fond Christmas memories. And if I hadn’t stopped and reflected why I was stressed this Christmas, the buying of presents was about to yet again be the central part of our holiday.
I have fond memories of opening a few presents that I really, really liked. But, very honorable mentions on the list of Christmas memories were singing Christmas carols with my siblings around the street light, gag gifts of wrapped up items from our basement, a big breakfast, music on the record player, warm coffee (once I was in college), pajamas all day, a warm fire, Christmas carols at mass, and even putting on stockings and an uncomfortable dress to attend mass.
The more I implement new fond memories of traditions and actions not tied to acquiring things the more likely my children are to feel empowered to buy less in their future.
Because if I don’t change, at least just a little, when will the cycle end?
2. Exaggerating the Theme of Giving
With St. Nicholas Day approaching I was eager to carry on a tradition we started of him leaving a gift of something the kids “need.” But then I thought, why associate St. Nick with consumerism too?
So while they still may receive a pair of socks or underwear from the saint, we’ll read about him and learn from him too.
Along the same theme, something many do, practicing the giving of old toys to those in need.
Finally, having discussions about why we give and receive gifts, like I read about in this article: These 5 Words Changed the Way My Kids Receive Gifts
3. Entering the Digital World with a Plan
Well one plan is to actually ignore the digital world for the months of October-December. I wrote about that method here.
But, even myself, a social media skeptic, spends more time than I prefer on the internet.
When it comes to presents, to buy less online these days, a list is a give-in. It also means answering a few good questions before I hit purchase on any presents deemed necessary.
Will I be tasked with having to get rid of this in a year? Do I have something similar in my home already? Will the excitement of this item last longer than Christmas morning?
I know that the minute I enter any webpage, check my email, or open any social media app, I will be thrown images of personalized ads with a genius sense of urgency.
4. Being An Adult Who Makes Homemade Presents
Many of us have said it, “I should just wrap up a cardboard box, that’s all they want.” Making some of my own gifts feels like a genius hack for buying less.
A couple ideas up my sleeve this year…
-a box filled with things my middle child steals from my junk drawer for his cardboard box creations (packaging tape, scissors, stickers, glue, etc.).
-a collection of what that same creative child takes for bath time science experiments (hand & body soap, travel soap containers, etc.)
-fixings for all the make-believe fun my kids have playing “school,” “work,” or “house.” (papers, stickers, pens, markers, etc.)
-pegboard and hooks for a DIY Nerf gun holder
I’ll add some cool homemade labels and viola!
5. If I Am Going to Buy it, Assuring Its Higher Quality
With each purchase I’m asking myself, “Is this going to end up broken in the trash in 3 weeks?”
It sounds awful to say, but I think it’s more ironic. When we are gifting cheap, plastic toys aren’t we actually just gifting them a future of Earth clean-up?
If I’m going to acquire items, I want at least some of them to pass the test of time.
6. Slowly Buy Less New Toys & More Used Toys
My Lego-loving son doesn’t care or notice whether his set came in a pristine box or the re-sale shop down the road.
I haven’t quite convinced others that I’m serious when I say just find something in your basement to wrap up. But it really feels like a win-win. They get rid of something they don’t use anymore, it helps the environment, and there is no money wasted.
7. Creativity with “Experience” Gifts
As a teacher I’ve been around young people long enough to know that immediate gratification is a force. So I know that simply gifting my children an “experience” will fall flat of ‘worst Christmas ever” territory.
So this year, with the trial of an “experience” gift, I’m including a small tangible item and a photo of the experience.
And maybe that’s it. The Christmas season itself should be the experience. So much so that an overabundance of presents isn’t needed to make up for any lack of good experience.
8. Letting Family Give How They Want
We can try all we want to ask family to give “experiences.” But I will not deny my loved ones the joy it may bring them to give tangile items.
I’m in the business of self-improvement. I’m not here to control anyone but myself (and of course my kids by scaffolding and modeling). That’s why I’ll let grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins give as they like.
To prepare for the influx of toys, I am putting many toys that weren’t donated in bins to be used later.
Finally, in the Spirit of Christmas: Practicing Acceptance, Mindfulness, and Gratitude
Obviously, there is a lot I want to remove from my family’s holiday experience (an overabundance of stuff, a large hole in the checking account, young ones who aren’t content until they have more).
But it’s really more about what I want to add to the experience.
-Acceptance that my children will forever receive gifts that will clutter our home.
-Mindfulness so I can enjoy the moment so the moments stay within me and my boys.
-Gratitude for all that I am able to offer and contribute this holiday season.
As I continue to practice buying less to gain more, I have hope that it will become an automatic process for both me and my children for years to come.