Isn’t this what we really mean when we say “Happy New Year?” When the major turning of the calendar prompts us to create new habits.
Whether its looking to start new habits or erase bad ones, there are 3 questions I’m asking myself in my reboot this time around in the hopes that they stick.
Why? What? How?
The first question I recently discovered in one of my podcasts. But it’s not the why question you’re thinking: why do I want to start this new habit?
No, it’s a much more powerful why:
WHY Do I Do the Bad Habit in the First Place?
Or, why do I not already do the good habit?
When I learned about this question, it was in reference to the speaker’s habit of overspending. And though I spent more than my mortgage payment last month on Christmas happenings, its not a bad habit I’m currently struggling with. However, the answer to the question for this particular person had a certain honesty that drew me in.
He asked himself: “Why do I shop so much?”
He answered: “To help me feel less inferior.”
Immediately I recognized that brutal honesty would be a major key in new habit forming or bad habit dismantling.
It motivated me to ask the question why and then to add a couple other questions to the habits I’m looking to change.
A Bad Habit Case Study: Spending Hours Staring at my Smartphone Every Night
Ugh, I am very conflicted on wanting to change this habit at all.
As someone striving towards digital minimalism (read all about that here), I feel as though I am on the low end of smart phone usage. However, this wouldn’t be a goal if it wasn’t a problem in my life.
Every night I experience what has become known as revenge bedtime procrastination. When I finally have time to myself, after the kids have fallen asleep, I pick up my phone, scroll through Apple news for an hour then switch to Netflix for another hour and a half, two hours.
Two-ish hours of downtime on the iPhone doesn’t sound terrible. It actually sounds like a healthy bedtime ritual for a working parent. But for me it isn’t super healthy. Staring at the tiny screen impacts my vision in ways that get worse every day.
Before I read about applying this “why” strategy, I thought I could just will myself to stop this bad habit. To just pick up a book instead. I know it is something I should stop so I should just stop right?
But simply knowing it is “bad” for my eyes doesn’t work for breaking the bad habit.
So I started by asking myself WHY do I do this bad habit?
Its because I’m more like my children than I thought. Watching TV shows and scrolling through interesting articles is way more fun than closing my eyes and sleeping!
Its enjoyable in the moment, its instant gratification, and vision problems are way in the future.
Answering this question of why helps me forget about quitting the screen time cold turkey, but instead thinking about viable replacements.
For that to happen I had to ask a couple more questions.
WHAT Can I Gain From Creating a New Habit?
I knew asking myself this would work for me because “the what” that I gained in the past from various new habits was what helped them stick.
Despite co-owning a gym for the last 10 years, I didn’t always buy into working out everyday. It was only when I discovered what it did for me that I stuck with the habit.
So when it came to breaking the screen time habit, thoughts of better sleep and other fun, more healthy habits, came to mind.
Finally, HOW Will I Act In Order to Make it Stick?
I know myself well enough to know that small, daily actions are what really matter when I want to get something done.
In order to include a daily routine of exercise, I have to constantly shift my schedule around. I have to sometimes do things at different times, in different ways, or sometimes not at all. Think, curbside pick up for groceries instead of grocery shopping, or working out during lunch.
With that new habit down, I decided to apply it to another bad habit I’ve dabbled in over the last year – eating foods that irritate my lungs (#asthmaprobs). For me, that seems to be foods with gluten and sugar.
Answering why do I eat foods that contain gluten and sugar is easy. It’s because they’re damn good. And if I’m being very honest, it’s many times because I’m sensitive to worrying about others judging me for not eating a piece of birthday cake.
What do I get from creating a new habit of not eating them? Breathing better, less bloating, better figure, highly quality workout.
So I know I want to change this habit. But how will I do it? What daily actions should I take to make this new habit stick?
Having food alternatives that I like a lot on hand is key. Lets just say that investing in Nut Thins stock wouldn’t be a bad idea.
And how will I attempt the screen time mountain of a goal? Perhaps popping in the Airpods and listening to an audiobook will be the key to me seeing well into old age.
Cheers to a reason for self-improvement and here’s to hoping that why, what, and how will bring you a happy new habits as well!